Daydreaming

I have often had trouble completing goals in my life.  It’s not a lack of desire or focus, it is a measure of magnitude.  People always recommend making small goals.  Don’t try to lose 70 pounds, start with seven.  Don’t start with a marathon, start with a mile.  I don’t seem to know how to make small goals.  I will admit to the truth.  I want it all.  I might take the small steps along the way, but my eyes are always on the prize.  This means my goals take a little while to accomplish.

There aren’t many things that drive me more nuts than people saying in an interview they never dreamed they would have the success they currently have.  I used to think these people were lying; now I think they dream wrong.  How did none of their wildest dreams involve being successful?  My calm and quiet dreams reach farther than that.  Your wildest dreams shouldn’t be that one person sees your work.  Your wildest dreams should have statues erected in your honor, your own world wide holiday, and a Nobel peace prize.

Why dream that you will be an actor when you can dream of winning a Oscar, having a the highest grossing movie of all time, and being so high in demand, you have your pick of projects and people are rearranging their schedules to suit you.  Anyone can act; community theater is available everywhere giving everyone a chance.  Not everyone can be a highly paid, in demand and award winning actor.

I don’t just want to be a writer; I already am a writer.  I write, therefore I am a writer.  I want to be published.  I want readers to make an emotional connection to my work.  I want to have a best seller.  I want to be paid well enough to not need another job.  I want a novel turned into a movie or a television show.  I want a fan base who are deeply devoted to my story.  I want to write something that changes peoples lives, hopefully for the better.

My dreams are big, crazy, and most likely unachievable.  Yet, from these crazy desires, I make my goals.  Is it any surprise that goal completion is a problem for me?   I dream big.  It’s the only way I know how.  I have a hard time accepting that this is a bad thing.  Sure, it means I have a lot of unfinished goals, but not goals I have given up on.  I might not be a published writer yet, but every successful author started where I am.  They might have started with more talent, more ideas, or more connections, but they were still just a person, sitting with a manuscript and a stack of query letters, waiting for a response.  Maybe they had the same dreams I did.

Don’t worry, I have realistic dreams too.  I know I might always be sitting here, a manuscript and stack of query letters.  If dreams were enough, I would have been flying for years now.  If I get lucky enough to publish, my chances are not great of being a best seller.  Most people aren’t.  But I have never believed you reach the top of a mountain by dreaming of seeing the bottom.  Instead I dream of the view from the top, and step by step, I try to bring myself there.

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