My daughter had a friend over today. Spring break can seem long when there is nothing for a Kindergartener to do; even a short visit from a friend can make the time pass in a more pleasant manner.
As her friend was dropped off, I found myself almost instantly apologizing to his mother for the mess in the house. “Sorry,” I said. “It’s just one of those days, you know?” She nodded, acknowledging her understanding.
The truth is, my house wasn’t even that messy. It wasn’t perfect, but it certainly wasn’t anything worse than I had seen on visits to her house. I just felt as though my house was worse than it looked.
Some days you wake up feeling completely behind, as though you’ll never catch up.
In truth, today wasn’t the only ‘just one of those days.’ There has been a lot of those days. I had ‘just one of those weeks’ recently. In fact, it has been threatening to turn into ‘just one of those months.’
Day after day, I wake up, wondering if this will be the day I feel normal again.
I make my lists, trying to schedule in everything I need to accomplish. Clean, research, write, organize; slowly work my way thr0ugh each task as though finishing the to do list would clear the mist that had covered my mind.
It’s hard to say what brings this kind of day. Sometimes I really am behind, scrambling to catch up. Other times, I am simply not where I want to be, and feeling like a caged animal. Sure there is the feeling of being trapped, but it’s more like the poor hamster running on the wheel, running and running and never getting anywhere.
Getting out of a funk like this can be tricky. Something might come along to cheer my mood and clear my mind. I might just wake up one day feeling better. Until then, I keep running on my wheel, waiting to get somewhere.