I took the day off yesterday.
Not just from blogging, but kind of from my life.
I think everyone has had moments when life seems to catch up with them. Family, work, school, health; everything takes time. Most often I feel as if it takes more time than I have. It is a constant balance between what I want to do and what I need to do.
It’s impossible to do everything without needing a little help.
I know it seems like some people do, but they don’t. Not really. I’m certain there is something they don’t do that I stress over regularly and try to fit into my schedule. I’m not saying they do less, just not the same things.
Everyone needs some kind of therapy occasionally. For some it is actual therapy, talking out their stress and problems with a professional. For others it’s similar talking, but over coffee or wine with a friend. Many people, including myself, use running as a therapy, clearing our minds as the miles tick by. I knew a girl who called getting a new tattoo her therapy. Everyone has something that works.
Yesterday, I chose massage therapy.
I went on a trip organized by the base to a spa an hour away in the Netherlands. I spoke to other adults, I over ordered on treatments, and basically let myself relax in a way I hadn’t in a long time. It was slightly amazing.
I pretended I did not have a new class starting with twice as many weekly assignments as the previous class. I pretended I didn’t have an exercise and nutrition plan I was still working to get moving. I pretended I didn’t have three manuscripts I promised myself I would finish this year, all sitting at sticky points. I pretended my house was clean, my kids were well behaved, and my husband was not in another country. Living in my delusion for a few hours while the kids were in school allowed me to let everything go.
It was exactly what I needed in the moment. I was relaxed to the point of exhaustion, falling asleep on the couch watching Pokémon with my kids before they went to bed.
I needed to let everything go, let everything fall wherever it was so I could pick it up and put it back together.
This time when I put everything back together, I can slowly place it where it needs to be. Maybe that is in the exact same place as before, maybe it’s somewhere new. Either way, I will have a reminder of my priorities and where everything belongs.