Lost

I had planned to write an intelligent post today.  I’d tell you more about it, but I might get around to writing it soon, so I’ll save the brilliance.  Naturally, this also allows me to save face if it turns out to be less clever and more huh?

The last week and a half, since my children left school for the summer, it has felt as though my brain shut down.  I’m still moving, speaking, and making plans, but I don’t feel as though I am thinking.  I can’t seem to process things more than a step ahead.  Which is naturally a problem.  Not only do I need to plan life, but I am going on vacation next week and finishing a novel.  These are things that require thought and planning.

It’s as if I am living someone else’s life for a few weeks.  Someone has made plans for tomorrow with their children, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t me.  Someone wrote out a chapter on my computer; unfortunately I can’t use someone else’s work.  Someone is going to have a great time in Scotland, and I hope they show me pictures when they get back.

I’m going through the motions, feeling slightly disconnected and I’m not sure why.

I imagine it starts with a changing sleep schedule.  Since we don’t have to be up for school, it’s much harder to get up in the morning.  Instead of getting up early to run, I shut off the alarm and sleep in.  Granted, sleeping in is only until about 7 am, but it is still a slightly off schedule.

Of course since I keep turning off my alarm instead of running, my workout schedule is off.  I don’t feel the same when I don’t run regularly, but it becomes much harder to run down a narrow busy road when you would need to take your six year old along because you overslept.

Having already slept differently and exercised differently, it doesn’t take much else to my normal routine to have me completely thrown off.  I was trying to establish a routine, but it seems pointless.  We have doctors appointments, vacation, and then three weeks of day camp.  I can’t get us into a routine anytime in the next month because things are going to be changing too much.

So what can I do about this lost, dazed feeling?  I can’t keep going around, feeling as though I am not a part of the life I am living.  I need to wake up and get back on track.

It starts out small.  Do something normal, something you would do everyday.  Take that tiny, normal moment, and run with it.  Add it to something else, and something else, and something else, until you have a whole day of normal activities.  Wake up the next day, and do it again.  Even when the day is not normal, find something you can do daily, and keep it.

So today, I had my coffee.  I wrote a post, even if it isn’t about much.  I’m going to take my dog for a walk, do my Tone it Up routine.  I’m going to write until I hit my word count, do some homework, and maybe watch a movie with my kids.  I’m going to cook dinner, go to bed at a reasonable time, read until it is no longer a reasonable hour, and then sleep.  In the morning I am going to wake up, and do it again.

Here is to getting back to normal!

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