I have an interview to do today. Sadly not something fun, but something practical. I have no idea how it will go, and I am trying to remain hopeful and optimistic before hand. There is not much that will make you tank on something more than walking in believing it will go badly.
So I put on a costume.
I paint my nails a calm, conservative color, getting rid of the bright pink they used to be. I pull my hair out of my face, making it neat and concealing how long it is. I choose elegant earrings, and leave a couple of holes empty. I put on my makeup, but not too much. I dress in solid colors, nothing too bright or too dark. I wear the skirt that makes my bum look good, not because I expect the interviewer to be looking, but because it is the only thing that feels even slightly like me.
It’s a part I know how to play. Look attractive, but not overwhelming. Make an impression, but don’t make waves. Smile brightly, but don’t let them see the real you, the person who wants nothing more than to kick off her shoes and sprint out into the sunshine. Be the person they want to see.
It’s all a lie. I create the persona, I say the right answers, and I don’t believe a word I say.
I’m not sure things will go well. I’m not even sure how I want things to end. But I know the role I am in today; responsible adult, who knows what they want from life and will get it.
Deep breath, and start the scene.