Bottled

Most of the time I like to think that I am a reasonable person.  I try not to judge others (not always successfully) and I try to be respectful of others (again, not always successfully).  I understand that I am no better than anyone else, and that we all live here together.  For that reason, I try not to let too much bother me. 

Of course, I cannot stop things from striking a nerve all the time.  I am a human, and sometimes things bother me whether I like it or not.  It is what it is.  All I can try to do is be respectful of others, even when they, or circumstances they are in, tick me off.  I bottle it up because my being bothered by others behavior is my problem, not theirs.

It is easy to say I am offended by others behavior, but that doesn’t actually matter.  I mean, really, being offended doesn’t mean anything of importance, even when I am the one who is offended.

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I fully acknowledge that fact that no one is required to change their thoughts, opinions, or behaviors based on what I think or feel.  It is one of the reasons I generally speaking do not bother complaining to others when something they do offends me in any way.  (I do speak only  of my intentionally bringing it to their attention, not when I say something carelessly).  All bringing it up does is give another person a reason to feel poorly about themselves and there is enough of that in the world without my contributing to it unnecessarily.

So what is my point with all of this?

Sometimes you cannot keep it in any longer. There is only so long a person can keep bottling up their frustrations before something bursts.  I honestly think it is unhealthy to keep everything in.  I know for myself, it builds up, making everything seem so much worse because it is piled on top of many other lingering frustrations that I cannot let go of completely because I am trying to politely hold them in.  Sometimes you have to let them out into the universe, just to get them out of you.

Please understand I do not let this out today because I expect anything to change.   In some cases it might be nice, but life is what it is, and sometimes it sucks.

 

I am tired of people going to the gym, playing their music loud enough I can still hear it when my headphones are full blast.  It is disgusting when people use the gym equipment and do not clean their sweat off.  Trust me, no one wants your sweat all over them. I’m tired of people who seem to think that just because they technically can do something that everyone else needs to be okay with it. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. 

I am tired of people making assumptions based on physical attributes.  I’m angry that I can be discriminated against because other people consider me to be privileged based on the color of my skin and hair.  I’m frustrated that I can lose out of opportunities in life because I am ‘not diverse enough.’  Diversity is not an attribute one person can have, it is something that people as a whole have.  I am diverse because I am a part of a society that is made up of different people.  The only way I am not diverse is if everyone on the planet looked the same.  I’m angry that people think they know what I want for my life without listening to anything I actually say.  I’m even more angry that sometimes these decisions can overrule my own when I am dependent on others to give me opportunities.

I’m angry that the world doesn’t always have a logical work/reward system.  I’m discouraged with how much of life depends on being in the right place at the right time or on being lucky.   I’m frustrated that there is much I want to do with my life that I cannot because I am never in the right place at the right time. 

I’m angry that there is so much in the world that I cannot change.  I’m angry that there is so much that I wish I could change. 

I’m tired of being angry, but most of all I am just plain tired. 

Thank you for listening to my little rant today.  I know my whining does not change anything.  It doesn’t have to, as nice as it would be if it did.  Sometimes you just need to uncork the bottle and let it all out.

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