I should have run yesterday. Then I would have been done a while ago
Leap over the dead frog. Haha. Leap frog.
Am I holding my feet right? They don’t hurt yet, so maybe.
Why is this song playing? What playlist is this? Did Lily mess with my phone?
Eh, screw it. Come and get it, na, na, na, na.
Avoid the dead bird, walk around the dead bird.
My armband is itchy.
Holy crap, is that a body?
No, just weirdly shaped hay. Who would leave hay in the shape of a body on the side of the road?
I probably would. Then I’d watch people jog by and laugh.
Running time. Alright, let’s go.
Holy crap is my arm itchy.
Is this arm band held on by Velcro or tiny fire ants biting it onto my skin?
How is so much of my daughter’s music on my running playlist? I need to fix that later.
Look at that army Humvee. It totally looks like it could be a tank.
I would love to drive a tank around. Just try to cut me off now punk.
I’d never have trouble finding a parking spot.
I wonder if a cop would give a tank a ticket.
Aww. Squished hedgehog. I like hedgehogs.
Is a tank manual or automatic? If you have to shoot, automatic would probably be easier. But then, I doubt the driver is shooting the big gun. It might be manual to better go over weird terrain.
Eh, the gas mileage probably sucks.
Man, I have been running a long time. Did I miss where it told me to walk?
Keep breathing. Stop breathing and you’re dead.
Ugh, rabbit road kill.
Man, I am out of shape.
Don’t say that. Negative comments like that are detrimental to your progress. Round is a shape.
What was that cartoon with the round people? Rolie Polie Olie. I wonder what happened to that.
Ah, I can rest. Cool off.
Running again already?
Alright, count it out.
One, two, one, two, one, two. Just a little farther and I’ll be walking.
Yeah. For like two fracking seconds.
Another Selena Gomez song? How did three get onto my running playlist?
That dog is looking at me funny. Does he know I’ve listened to three of her songs now?
Yeah, he knows.
I’m pretty sure he is judging me for it too.
Alright, last time running.
You can do this.
OW! SHARP ROCK! DAMN YOU MINIMILIST SHOES!!!
It is getting hot. I should have run an hour ago.
I need to start waking up earlier to run.
Maybe I can survive another month until the girls are out of school. Then I can get up at the same time and run instead of getting them ready for school.
It is really hot.
Alright, walk again.
Walk around the unidentifiable road kill. Wait, that’s five, BINGO!
I need to use the bathroom.
If I was a guy, it would be socially acceptable for me to take care of this problem behind that tree over there.
Stupid gender discrimination.
Whoa! I totally know how the next scene goes.
Run, got to get this down before it disappears forever.
Move, move, move, move.
Cooldown? But I have to get home! Please can I run a little longer?
Alright, power walk it in. The house is in sight.
I love running!